Another day... not super, not horrible. So far this week has been pretty quite on the daycare front. The littles are behaving pretty well. My only real complaint this week is totally about myself. I get this guilty, hate myself feeling every time I let myself fantasies about next year (daycare free). Which of course when I feel guilty about anything I start having built up anxiety which causes my body to go crazy. I know I want to quit I know I will be happier quitting. I know that Kenneth will be happier when I quit and he gets his house back, and I get my sanity back... but I still feel guilt. I want people to like me... by watching this particular group of kids, I sort of in a sad kind of way feel like I belong. Even though when I step back I know it's a fake relationship, strictly nice because they appreciate the care I take of their children. But even a fake relationship is better than feeling like I don't belong (it's been the story of my life). I'm not willing to suffer for years because I want people to like me, but I wish and hope that someday I will find my place among the adult woman of the world. If not for the friendship of one individual (and I'm not just saying this because she reads my blog) I would feel so alone in this town, a member of the misunderstood club. So hopefully I can gain the self confidence needed to feel at ease with my decision to quit in May so it can be a big relief instead of another hurdle.
Totally different subject:
Has anyone ever used the Internet surveys and sites to self diagnose ailments? If so did it turn out to be pretty accurate or would you say, it made you worse off?
Chronic pain, second opinions, and drugs
1 day ago