Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Mommy's broken heart

Some people send their children away to preschool because they work.... some people send their children to preschool because they need a break.... some because they want their child to have a leg up come the real thing.... me well I sent my sweet little baby girl to preschool to make myself the saddest mom on earth. Really I originally thought it was a good idea for her to learn to sit and listen to another adult for a little while before starting all day Kindergarten next year. I thought it would be good for her to get into a routine of learning and playing with other children out side of our home. But today came... and she was beaming from ear to ear that she was going to go to school... and fear struck the very heart of me... that soon... all too soon, this would be her every day... and some teacher, would get to spend the majority of her time with her... that lucky person would take for granted the way she giggles, the way she makes up stories, her imagination, her sense of humor, the way she makes up her own words for things, they would take for granted the way her curls bounce when she runs, and the way she looks when she is thinking hard, they wouldn't even know how much she loves to just sit and play all alone, and how she doesn't let just any one into her little world. And although a year may seem a very very long time to her... it will melt away into months, and days, and minutes... and she will be big, and start school... and I will be here all alone, thinking of her.

By the way... she absolutely loved her first day of preschool, I'm pretty sure she didn't even miss me.


Anonymous said...

It's so hard to be happy for them when they come home so happy and you have spent the time alone trying not to cry. It was all I could do to greet my kids with a big, happy, smiley face on their first day home from school. Anyone could tell it was completely fake. Oh well, I tried. Do you think it will be easier by the time they go to college?


Michelle said...

No, it won't be easier when they go to college. My mom used to go into my room, sit on my bed and cry. (I was the baby.) College will be worse. There's a very simple solution for both of you... have another baby. LOL! Ha Ha Ha. Hee Hee!

leaner said...

Sob* sob*
I know how you feel. I totally understand. Not that Gwennie is going to preschool, but having her go to a sitter was HARD, even though it is only a few hours in the mornings. Mornings with her were my favorite time. Sigh, and I know that she is a big girl already.

What will you do while she is in preschool?

Amie said...

aww...she'll be glad to read this from you some day. =)