Generally speaking I'm not a sharer of all things spiritual. Although it's very much a part of the person I've become I don't usually take the risk of what others may think of me. But lately I've felt so weighed down... that I truly feel if I don't express myself in some way that I may as well not believe myself.
I struggle. I struggle a lot. It's been a rocky road, that I have gladly conquered for many years. Knowing that I was making a smoother path for my children to follow. But lately things have been extremely hard. I have fought to remember why I even bother. As the tiniest things begin to be stretched and criticized to the point of exhaustion... I wonder. If something that small is such a big deal is there even a place for me in this God's kingdom. If that is unforgivable... what about the others... other people that I love... other people that I've lost. Will Jesus embrace them, I have to believe so... for my own sanity I have to believe so. And then in church as tears run down my face... I look past the trivial things that have been said, I look past the people, their personal platforms, I look past their words... to the simplicity of a song.
I know that my redeemer lives
What Comfort this sweet sentence gives
He lives he lives who once was dead
He lives my ever living Head
He lives to bless me with his Love
He lives to plead for me above
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need
He lives to grant me rich supply
He lives to guide me with his eye
He lives to comfort me when faint
He lives to hear my souls complaint
He lives to silence all my fears
He lives to wipe away my tears
He lives to calm my troubled heart
He lives all blessings to impart
Not to only perfection... not to only those with perfect faith, not to those who wear the right clothes, or say the right words, not only for those who make the right choices, not just for the reverent; but the doubting, the troubled, the stubborn, the devastated, the hurt, the aching, the lost, the prideful, for all of us. He said "Come unto me", to each and every one of us, not just a precious few, each and every one was given the invitation. Each and every one.